I’m very humbled and excited to invite you to a healing ritual my heart has been calling me to manifest for a long time.
Right around the age that a boy become “too much for his mother to handle”, the men of the village would break into the family dwelling in the middle of the night, pull the boy from his bed, and carry him off into the dark for his first rite of passage. ~ Joseph Campbell
All indigenous cultures provide a test for their young men, when they come of age, to help create a clear boundary between childhood and adulthood. Whether it was a hunting rite of passage, fasting, or a tracker right of passage (being blindfolded and led 1 week out of your village and left in a foreign land to find you’re own way back), the ancients recognized the absolute need for a young boy to be tested through adversity.
To surrender to humility… to recognize his power… to learn how to best serve the tribe… to become a man.
Sadly, our modern society has totally ignored the wisdom of the ancients. Behold the surreal, artificial cultural landscape we find ourselves in, where many “men” have tremendous material wealth and no inner wisdom to guide them, much like a child with a gun.
And the bullets leave gaping holes in the very fabric of our humanity.
We’ve held on to the outer symbols of “rite of passage” – holy communion, bar mitzvah, graduating high school, college, having sex – but the inner essence has been lost.
Our Cultural Pathology
Our mother was our first lover, and thus laid the template for all our future love relationships. Months before anyone laid eyes on us, she loved and nourished us in the womb. And after we were born, she suckled us to her breast and she kept us warm and safe.
And many of us, psychologically, never unlatched from that breast.
Our culture’s nuclear family structure, gender roles that encourage men to become addicted to work, and a deep poverty of wise male role models led many of us to be under father… and as a result, over-mothered.
Whether our father was physically absent, emotionally unavailable, or just too damaged to help us become men ourselves, Mom was there to step in and do the best she can.
But Mom can never replace Dad.
And for many of us, the excess maternal love, comfort, and nourishment actually made us weaker! Love alone is actually not enough. Wisdom is needed to balance it, and masculine wisdom is gained through adversity.
A butterfly must struggle to break out of it’s personal prison; if it doesn’t, it will starve. If someone came along and cut a hole in the cocoon, it would get out sooner, but it wouldn’t have developed the strength to fly, having been deprived of its struggle.
We all feel the need to be tested, challenged, to destroy something old so that we make room for the new. Together, we’ll confront the ways in which our relationship to our mothers has been limiting us and constraining our relationship to all of womankind, and in the process become better lovers, fathers, husbands, and sons.
What’ll We Do Exactly?
Fast, head upstate about 2 hours, prepare a sweat lodge, share our hearts in the lodge, breakdown the lodge, break fast be merry, and tell stories from childhood.
What is a Sweat Lodge?
A sweat lodge is an ancient prognostication and purification ritual practiced in many different ways by tribes across the globe.
Together, we’ll build a fire, chop wood, and cover the lodge (a small structure made of wood), and be led in prayer, singing, and ceremony. Inside the lodge, hot rocks from the outside fire will be put in a hole in the ground, water will be poured over the rocks, and our guide Peter will lead us on an inner journey. Together, we’ll dive deeper into our current reality and life story, to gain clarity on who we are, where we are headed, and what we need to do (or stop doing) in order to get there.
You will be encouraged to honor your boundaries/limitations and to take a break from the lodge if at any point you feel too hot. Additionally, you don’t even have to be inside the lodge to be a part of the ceremony – you may gain a lot just by being present for other people and helping prepare the lodge.
- Date & Time: Saturday, October 8th 7am to 9pmish (Don’t make big plans after. Trust me).
- Cost: $147 – This includes everything but dinner.
- Space: 7 people max.
- What to Bring: Towel, bathing suit, change of clothes, money, offering for the lodge, hand written letter to your mother.
- Personal Preparation: Write a 1 page letter to your mother, from your heart, thank her for her love and explaining to her why you want to change your relationship to her. Consider bringing an object that represents your rite of passage into manhood and letting go of your “inner mama’s boy”. Also consider bringing a gift to “Owl Flies True”, something from the heart!
- Opening Circle in Chelsea, NYC: 7am – 7:30am
- Van to Lodge: 7:30am – 9:30am (Story circle)
- Lodge Preparation and Prayers: 9:30am – 12:30pm
- Sweat Lodge: 12:30pm – 3pm
- Breakdown Lodge: 3pm – 4pm
- Special Snack: 3:45pm
- Drive to Dinner in Woodstock: 4pm – 4:30pm
- Brake Fast: 4:30pm – 6:30pm
- Drive Back to NYC: 6:30pm – 8:30pm
- Closing Circle in Chelsea, NYC: 8:30pm – 9pm
Ready to Lock Down Your Spot?
Use this link here: Transcending the Moma’s Boy Archetype
- Funcomfortable- yup. Things might get a little weird (in the best kind of way) and secrets may even be shared, but it will be fun, even when its a little anxiety provoking.
- Co-creation- together we collaborate and as a group create an amazing experience together.
- Play and Spontaneity- we will play different games that get you out of your head and into your body, and it will feel so good to connect with other humans in such an innocent and natural way. The best games are ones where everyone laughs.
- Cellphone Detox- During your free-time, go nuts, but during the guided encounters, we ask you disconnect completely from facestagram and connect to the present moment – fully.
Who is Pouring Water for the Lodge?
Peter Blum aka “Owl Flies True”, who has been leading sweat lodges aka “pouring the water” for over 20 yers and has studied with several lodge-leaders from many native tribes, most notably the Lakota, Cherokee, Seminole. I’ll be gently assisting Peter and supporting everyone’s experience.
I have taken teaching and been in lodge with Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona (Black Elk Lakota lodge), Grandfather Harry Charger (Lakota), Donna Coyote Rain (Sun Bear Chippewa), and Calvin Pompana (Canadian Dakota). Mostly my lodge protocol was learned from David Happyface, who led a multi-cultural “Rainbow” lodge based on the Medicine Wheel and the four directions. David was a student of Scout Cloud Lee, a Seminole woman who I also met and sweated with.
Who Will Benefit Most from this Initiation Ritual?
I’m so glad you asked, because its really not for everyone. But I personally sent you an email, so of course I think you’ll want to at least consider what is being offered. I’m only inviting friends, family, and students that I think will pray with their whole heart.
Just because you’re a mamma’s boy doesn’t mean you’re ready to evolve beyond it. Here are things to consider:
- Are you ready to admit that you are a “mamma’s boy”?
- Are you willing to explore a more dynamic way of being with womankind?
- Are you committed to personal growth?
- Are you willing to try new things and be radically honest? It takes courage!
- How do you feel about saunas? The lodge will be very hot and wet. I highly recommend you read about the risks and then fire away with any questions you have.
- How do you feel about sharing stories about your childhood and relationship to your mother? You’re bravery heals everyone in the circle.
- How do you feel about fasting? We won’t eat for half a day leading up to the lodge, otherwise you risk throwing up. We’ll break fast at an amazing farm to table restaurant, and it will be fucking amazing.
When We Change Our Story, We Change Our World.
Because the stories we tell ourselves determine our behavior, and our behavior determines our destiny and/or dysfunction, depending on their content.
“Telling one’s own story is an ancient art. Nowadays, we have forgotten how to listen and how to tell. Yet the very survival of our species depends on our ability to communicate with each other in such ways as to be mutually enriched by the telling and the listening. If we cannot tell with expression, our life is mute.” ~ School of Lost Borders
Most powerful of all are the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we believe, and our place in universe. Most of us sell ourselves way short – we’re actually way tougher, wiser, connected, and stronger than we tell ourselves we are.
How Fit Do I Need to Be?
Please contact your doctor if you have any medical concerns regarding the sweat lodge.
What if my mother has already passed away?
In some ways, you’ll see the benefits of this rite of passage quicker than the rest of us with living mothers.
Have you ever lead a trip like this before?
Indeed, I have. Here’s a video from the last time I led an adventure like this one. It was a 72 hour experience with camping and a lodge, instead of just a day trip to a lodge, but you can get a sense of how healing it was for everyone that came… and how intense and hot the lodge can be!
Ready To Grow The EFF Up?
Awesome, lock down your spot by making payment, and then I’ll send you our Adventurer Intake Form. Please feel free to call or email me with any questions or concerns. If you’re on the fence and not sure, a 5 minute phone call will be plenty of time to get a clear answer.
Jonathan ~ Singing Butterfly Warrior